By Kyle Wilson, '07 | Entertainment Editor

Ripped straight from the pages of Frank Miller’s graphic novel,
the shots give the movie a surreal, hyper realistic sense.
Never before did I think
that images of hundreds of bodies being sliced apart by
angry men could be
called beautiful.

 300 is a skull-thumping, ass-kicking, push-your-brain-out-of-the-back-of-your-head-with-a-pure-aural-and­-visual-assault of a movie.

This is action movie personified.

No, this is man personified.

Spartans exist only to do awesome things with swords and spears and to deliver monologues shouted at the top of their lungs. It is, as of this writing, the action movie to beat for 2007. Go see this movie. Right now. I don't care if you have a job or a family; these things are unimportant. Watch the movie.

If you are still reading right now, you have failed.

300’s plot—or, as it should be known, the excuse for Spartans to kill lots of people--is fairly straight forward. The Persian Empire, led by the man-God Xerxes, is conquering the world. They have come to Greece, threatening to destroy the Spartans if they do not surrender.

The Spartans are not too keen on that idea. Their king, Leonidas, having been refused the use of the entire Spartan army, takes 300 warriors north to an area called the Hot Gates, a narrow pass between two cliff faces. It is here that Leonidas plans to hold off the Persian invasion. The rest of the movie is one blood-soaked, body-laden, Persian-skewering battle after another, ending in the final stand of the 300 Spartans against the entirety of the Persian army.

The simple plot is complemented by simple acting. While not bad, the movie doesn’t really call for Oscar-caliber performances. The Spartans seem to have two moods: killing people and merely thinking about killing people. We do not get a deep look at the scarred psyche of Leonidas. We do not see the deep and hidden reasons as to why Xerxes is conquering the world. The movie is black and white: Xerxes wants the Spartans dead. Leonidas wants to return the favor.

However, what the movie does not present in acting and writing, it more than makes up for in visuals. Ripped straight from the pages of Frank Miller’s graphic novel, the shots give the movie a surreal, hyper realistic sense. Never before did I think that images of hundreds of bodies being sliced apart by angry men could be called beautiful.

It is a rare film that manages to make something of so little substance seem so great. By making the plot and characters as straightforward as possible, the film is able to concentrate on wowing the audience with visual treats the likes of which are rarely seen. 300 is the very definition of a ‘theater movie’. It is best experienced loud, large, and with a full bucket of popcorn in your lap.

The only people who should not see this movie are those with a weak stomach or those who are under 17. However, if you are old enough, and can stomach viscera and gore flying across the screen every few seconds, you will find a film that pushes the bounds of what can be considered an action movie.