If I were to trade places with a Hollywood writer on strike, I’d probably construct a tar-paper shack and stay on strike for good. Most of these people are getting more national attention now than they ever did writing for “Desperate Housewives.” And don’t give me that nonsense about the credits at the end of shows. Do you watch those and read every writer’s name? I rest my case.

            If I could be a striker for one day, I assume this is how it would go: I’d wake up in sunny L.A. (My my, already an improvement from Central New York! I might enjoy being a writer on strike!), and put on whatever it is people on strike wear to the picket lines. Google Image Search, for once, provided no pictures of strike haute couture, so just use your imagination. The downside of all this would be the early hour at which I would be forced to wake up and be at the picket line. But even this would be tolerable with someone like Robin Williams to bring me coffee (or Tim Robbins, David Duchovny, or Julianne Moore, according to www.news.independent.co.uk). I have a feeling I could do any number of unpleasant tasks early in the morning if Robin Williams was by my side to help. Let’s get on with the day!

            Robin Williams and I would picket with the other strikers for a few hours with our signs, which say things like “ON STRIKE.” Hey, I’m a writer on strike! I can’t be coming up with witty repartee for a strike sign: that’s the opposite of what I said I’d do by going on strike!

            Strike signs aside, we’d demand our rights and then Jay Leno would bring us Krispy Kreme donuts to go with the coffee Robin Williams so thoughtfully brought us. Odds are, if I forgot to make a sandwich for lunch or dinner, someone will provide those too, along with kind smiles and warm words of support. We would continue striking in a big, tight-knit, star-studded group and then maybe I would go home and watch reruns of the Colbert Report. I’d feel a little bad that so many shows were off the air due to my strike, but that is the nature of the beast. Besides, the stars of most of those shows were striking with me today, remember? Except Ellen DeGeneres, and when you think about it, gay rights advocacy is a lot of work. She can’t go around advocating every cause that comes her way.

            In all seriousness, the Writer’s Guild of America is on strike with good reason. According to www.canyon-news.com, “The reasons for the strike lie in the changing medium of digital media. Disputes arose over how much writers should be paid for DVD releases, downloads, and the rebroadcast of media through the internet, cell phones, and iPods, and original writing for new forms of media.” Essentially, with the writers currently making “about four percent” from all these forms of media, this is a case of the little guy fighting the big guy, and I’m all for that. Any time a small minority stands up to the corporate majority in America, usually it is a good thing, especially if said majority has its hands in the small minority’s pockets. But one must admit, striking would be a whole lot less of a hassle if Jay Leno brought donuts.